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NESSIE CAKE RECIPE


INGREDIENTS

1 BOTTLE OF WHISKY 

1 CUP WATER

1 CUP SUGAR

4 LARGE EGGS

1 CUP DRIED FRUIT

1tsp SALT

1tsp  BAKING SODA

1 CUP BROWN SUGAR

8oz NUTS

JUICE OF 1 LEMON

Sample the whisky to check the quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again, to be absolutely sure of the highest quality.

Pour 1 level cup, drink, and repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Make sure the whisky is still OK. Cry another cup.

Turn off the mixerer.

Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity.

Next sift two cups of salt. Or something ... who cares?

Check whisky.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain nuts. Add one tablespoon of sugar or something, whatever you can find.

Grease the oven; turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.

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